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Unsolicited Photoshopping
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Jan 21, 2025
In this week's episode I'll share my photoshop horror shows, talk about beauty standards and start a hard conversation about Beauty Filters and how they are so detrimental for us and the next generation. I'll discuss celebrities like Jane Fonda, Emme (Melissa Owens Miller) and Laura Clery and how they have bucked beauty standards, helped us grow, or challenged the status quo. If you're watching on YouTube I turned off the fancy lights, skipped touching up blemishes and did my best to "walk the walk" as I'm talking the talk. You can find FREE RECIPES here: https://loseweightbyeating.com/ Check out my Best Selling Cookbooks here: https://loseweightbyeating.com/cookbook/
View Video Transcript
0:01
welcome back to the loseweight bite meating podcast everyone I am Audrey John's and this week I want to talk
0:07
about unsolicited photoshopping now I wrote up the notes
0:13
and I was going to film this tomorrow um one because I have a little pimple right here if you're watching on
0:20
YouTube I have another one underneath here and I was going to touch up and get
0:26
ready and be all camera ready but I thought if we're going to talk about beauty standards today I'm going to come
0:31
to you all natural um typically when I film I will you know
0:39
Gussy it up a little bit I'll put the ring light on which I do not have on this time I'm a little uh shiny which I'm cool with but
0:47
when I go out and meet some friends for coffee this is what I look like I keep
0:52
the makeup minimal and I try to look like myself with all of that said I wanted to
0:58
talk to you all about about an experience two experiences actually I
1:04
had with being photoshopped without my approval and kind of talk about beauty
1:10
standards and filters and open up the conversation a little bit more about as
1:18
women what we're expected to look like especially as we're aging now if you
1:24
follow me on Instagram you probably notice my funny little quirp on my birthday which was just a few days ago
1:31
on March 3rdd that I wanted to take this moment to thank my body that to remind
1:36
me or had reminded me that even on my 44th birthday I was still young enough
1:41
to wake up with a big old pimple in my CH so I thought let's chat about this
1:48
today first of all I want to talk about photoshopping Basics so say for instance
1:56
you're taking a beautiful landscape photo and you want to take out maybe a
2:02
car or a light post I get that I also understand you know color
2:08
correcting or you know erasing out a pimple but what about if we're completely changing somebody's body
2:15
shape face shape hair teeth
2:21
eyes how do we all really feel about that and I feel like it should be the
2:27
individual's choice it should be in the
2:32
in the hands of the individual being photo photographed not in the person
2:38
editing the photo so again you know if if if you end up doing doing media work
2:44
like me and somebody edits out a little chin pimple I'm all for it but changing
2:52
a full body type all of that it's becoming a real issue I feel and from
2:57
time to time you'll see overly photoshopped pictures that will pop up on social media and people
3:03
are laughing about them and like wow her legs totally you know facing the wrong way or where did her foot go or does she
3:10
have an extra arm and it's like people are overthe toop photoshopping and now filters have
3:17
become such a thing and so I thought it would be really important to kind of just discuss
3:22
that back to the photoshopping Basics it can be fun for artistic photos it can be
3:28
great for a quick little spot checkup but it should always be consented to
3:35
always this is very important that's this person's image that's their body that's their face you have no idea how
3:42
much you can screw with their heads and that's what we're going to talk about my little story here with you
3:49
today before we get into my two photoshopping incidents I want to talk
3:55
about filters and pros and cons now I love doing the funny filters
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where I love the one where it looks like you're like crying and I love the the
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videos of people trying to keep a straight face or like putting water in their mouth and then changing the filters and they're cracking up I think
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this could be really fun and silly but what about people who are
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always using the beauty filter I want to open up this discussion
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cuz I I think there's going to be two sides to this argument I think some
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people are going to say well you know I just didn't feel like putting makeup on that day and I'm a social media Creator and this is what I have to do and then
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there's going to be people who say well this is the same thing as photoshopping
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and this is an unrealistic Beauty Stander so I kind of want to chat about
4:47
that I feel like you can both be empowered by it and you can also really be hurting the Next Generation so I kind
4:54
of want to open up your eyes to that I follow a lot of different people people on Instagram and Laura clear is awesome
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she's so funny she's really been talking a lot about
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mental health lately as she's been you know going through the process and she
5:13
posted this video the other day and she's just crying and she's talking
5:19
about how she had gone out with either either it was a date or a friend and how
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he had talked about one of the I believe it was one of the Kardashians had
5:29
completely gotten her face changed and she made a million dollars and he was talking about this like this is so great
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this is what women should be doing at least that was my takea away from her message and she was so triggered by it
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she said and it stuck with me for about 3
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days this absolutely stunning woman who's totally hilarious she's a absolute
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boss she's out there she's just a social media star and why something like this would
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trigger her and I think I would assume what I took away
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from it was as women at least in my generation Our value comes from what we
6:17
look like not what kind of person we are not our work not our soul not our heart not who
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we are not what we've done with our life but what do look
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like and I really feel like that has been very damaging for us and I really
6:39
feel like to continue that could be very detrimental for our kids both our boys
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and our girls right the the boys who who like the ladies could have this complete
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unrealistic expectation of what the ideal woman should look like when actually there is no ideal woman there
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is just the ideal person right the the ideal heart and soul of someone and then
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for the girls this unrealistic expectation of this is what I'm supposed to look like because I know I grew up
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that way and I know it was harmful and and I've talked about this
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before I was the fat kid in school in high school I developed before everyone
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else it's just how was it happing girls work and I was a size six surprise
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surprise I'm still a size six you know and and nobody would call me fat now but in these same
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clothes in high school I was considered fat and that all comes down to the
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beauty standard and the competition between women of the best in the room is
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the hottest in the room and it shouldn't be that the there
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shouldn't first of all there shouldn't be the best in the room because if we all look the same or if we all had the
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same job or if we all had the same I don't know gumption and
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excitement for life it would be really boring right but having this room full
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of smart intelligent loving kind women why would we want to pick the best in
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the room but this is what was taught to us this is what was expected of
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us and I myself I'm I'm still struggling with which is why I've started this podcast which is why I want to talk
8:32
about bringing self-care and self-love into taking better care of yourself in a
8:39
healthy way in you know moving your body more then I'm not talking about you know
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starting running for the first time in your life I'm talking about maybe you're moving a little bit more maybe you do some extra stretching because your body
8:51
is getting a little bit older and creaky that's me or maybe it's eating healthier
8:57
because you know you just feel like I've been eating too much processed food and I feel terrible and I love myself enough
9:04
to feed it well so this podcast I'm really trying to bring together the self-love and
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self-care and healthy eating and with that the natural result could be a
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healthier lifestyle healthier body and maybe even weight loss so let's get on to filter pros and
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cons and anybody who's watching if you keep seeing me look over it's CU I took down a whole bunch of notes because this
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is this is not an easy podcast for me to do I'm being very vulnerable with all of
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you so back to filter filters can be fun but they can also be
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dangerous I I've seen women I
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know who use filters on all of their pictures online and they are the most
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amazing strong smart kind beautiful women but they just don't feel pretty
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enough and that kind of comes down to photoshopping basically those Beauty filters are photoshopping for all of us
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and again I'm all for removing this little pimple here but I'm out here showing it all to you
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guys cuz I kind of got to walk the walk I got to talk the talk and I got to walk the
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walk that brings me to my next question is what are you supposed to look like at any age they have these magazines I
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believe it's Vogue comes out with once a year they do Beauty at every age and I'm not knocking it these women are amazing
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and they should be celebrated but you'll see this picture of this
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woman in her 50s and she looks like she's in her 20s and that could be photoshopping that could be really great
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genetics that could be taking really good care of her herself or that could be a whole lot of filters and plastic
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surgery not knocking any of those just saying what does the average age look
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like now I feel like we've kind of lost touch of that and we no longer want
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to I feel like maybe the generations before us they didn't necessarily want
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to age but they were like it's part of life and then once they got to their 40s and 50s they were like hell yeah I'm
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awesome but now there's just this stigma around I'm so terrified to age I'm so
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terrified to age and I'm not saying that the other generation didn't have that I just feel like now there are all these
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other options open to us and we're using them in a very unhealthy way I don't know if that helps to explain
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it so I feel like our expectation of Ages have kind of been
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distorted and I feel like it would be important
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for us to celebrate our ages in a more healthy
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way and body positivity can look like many different things um the root of
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what it should be is about loving your body and loving your appearance so these
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Beauty filters I I want to open up the conversation are they unhealthy are
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they are they changing what we expect of ourselves I I know some people use them
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on dating apps that's not cool that's that's just that's not helpful you know
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once you meet this person what are they going to be disappointed but you might just be the most stunning person inside
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and out and you're giving this false version of yourself out there I feel
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like as women it's time for us to say this is what I look like feel like can be great if you don't like me great
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that's on you I feel like when we change our
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appearance we think we're doing it for ourselves or we think we're doing it for
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others and really other people can't see our flaws you know I I feel like we focus on
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them we're hyperfocused on our flaws and to an
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unhealthy level and and I want to bring this back to
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women your value does not come from what you look
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like your value comes from what you bring to the table to your family to
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yourself to your job to your loved ones to your friends your value is so much
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more than your looks and most people they they don't see your physical
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flaws this is something that we we feel like everyone can see the
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pimple or everyone can see the wrinkle or everyone can see the the little gray hairs sticking out see here's mine I
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love them how boring would it be if we all look the same and yet we're all expected to look the
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same so I feel like we kind of need to realize that if everyone had the same
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body if everyone had the same hair if everyone had no wrinkles Perfect
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Skin this world would just be this boring dull everything looks the same
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step forur wife kind of a life and I understand to some that might seem
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perfect but I think as we age we
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realize how silly that sounds for your
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self-esteem I would like to encourage you to try to avoid the beauty
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filters you should put out to the world who you really are and and if nothing
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else we should be doing this for our kids I'm going to get into the photos
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shopping and and what I thought the beautiful women looked like and it's the
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same thing with these Beauty filters I mean you're basically telling your daughter or your or your son but you're
15:21
let's talk about our girls you're basically telling your daughter I'm not beautiful enough to take this photo and put it up I have to change it no
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no come on how is this good for her even if even if you're only doing it for
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her even if you're only changing this Behavior just for her isn't that enough
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and when you realize that you are giving her this distorted version of what a woman should look like first of all it
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shouldn't be about what a woman looks like it should be about how strong she is and independent and loving and kind
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and nurturing and fun and silly and funny and giving and all of these things
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this is what I feel like we should be teaching our kids this is where values come from because for a man his values
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come from is he strong is he a good provider is he kind is he a good dad you
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know all of these things for a woman woman it comes down to one thing is she hot and I feel like at some point we
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have to change this narrative and I know this one podcast isn't going to do it but I I wonder can
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we start that discussion can we encourage it I could be very wrong on
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this and and I've said it before bring on the hate mail but I would really really prefer a healthy conversation
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about this because I'm trying to learn I'm trying to embrace my body my my V because we'll
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talk about here in a moment I'm trying to embrace loving
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myself for who I am and it's not easy and that's a big
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part of what this podcast is about so our beauty standards and
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expectations as I've noted it's always based on what we look like and it's
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changed you know we talk about the 90s and it was the super skinny girls with no backside now it's the opposite which
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is great but what if you are naturally the skinny girls with no back site what are you not beautiful anymore of course
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you're beautiful I feel like instead of trying to fit into some beauty mold we should all just try to look the best we
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can look in any given day and I feel like right now I feel the best I can look in any given day now I did not
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cover up every pimple I didn't even curl my hair today but I feel like I look great and that's just
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because I feel like I'm taking good care of myself I feel confident confidence is
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beauty I think it's really time for us to take our power back and enjoy the
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aging process with that said there are certain actresses out there I'll say you
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Andy McDow to start has been posting all of these great photos and her gray hair
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is so stunning so stunning and I have to assume you know you know maybe she's
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taking the photos after she's had it styled and we all look better after we've had it styled but anybody who's watching I have some little Grays and
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when I go to the hair stylist I'm trying to show you of course the lighting in here isn't great when I go to the hair
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stylist she'll ask me because I do Balayage she'll ask me do you want me to cover them up and I say no let them grow
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I have a friend her name is Aaron love to have her on the podcast at some point she's one of my Pilates instructors and
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I've known her for seven or eight years now and as I've known her for these last
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eight seven eight years her hair has started to Gray and oh my gosh it's like
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she has the most beautiful highlights ever and she's got really dark hair and
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I just look at her in awe and I am so impressed by her and she's just going
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gray with Grace and I kind of love that the whole gray hair thing is stylish
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right now I'm like yeah this is great but I'm not saying you have to do that
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if you want to dye your Grays by all means dye your Grays but do them for the right reason do it because it makes you
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feel powerful not because you're expected to do you see the difference here if it makes you feel powerful if it
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makes you feel good great as long as you're not hurting anyone else and back to the photoshopping in way too many
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filters right that is hurting our girls it's hurting our boys too so if it's for
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you if it's for empowerment if it's for and it's not hurting anybody else I say go for it but do it the way you want to
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do it don't don't dye your hair because you're going gray because you're
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expected to do it because you want to or go gray gracefully I know this isn't the most
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cohesive podcast I've done th far but I hope it's inspiring I really want to open up a
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conversation so wanting to look your best it can be
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powerful and it can be an act of self-love as long as it's for the right
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reasons as long as it's because it makes you feel good it makes you feel powerful ful if it's for the right reasons again
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if you're not hurting others if you're not furthering the BS of women are only
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valuable if they're beautiful do you get that I hope you get
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that I hope this is resonating so now I'm going to tell you my first story I was lucky enough and unlucky
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enough to do my first Woman's World cover many years ago my daughter was
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really little I'd say maybe she was three so we're talking what 11 years ago and I went into the studio in Los
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Angeles they had like rented out a studio wasn't their Studios and great
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makeup team had so much fun great hair team great stylists so many great
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outfits and I remember you know they would take a ton of photos and then in
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between changing outfits they would have me come look at the photos and I'm so excited about them you know they're on
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they were all digital so you could kind of see them happening in real time and they were beautiful and I was so proud
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of them and I was so excited and and it was such
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a great experience and I mean it was it was my second cover shoot but my first
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one had been for for a local magazine and I had had some control over
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it not total but some but this one I was kind of trusting that well if they
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photoshop me you know it's for the cover of their magazine it's it's Nationwide it's going to be fine right it's you
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know they might just touch up here or there and take out a freckle or something but no big
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deal they stretched out my body I'm 5 foot three they stretched out
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my body I look like I was 7 foot I think they did that to make me
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look thinner I was all of 125 28 lbs at
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the time there was no need to make me look
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thinner it was absolutely ridiculous but what really got me was they changed my
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teeth now I my mother was a single mom and she could not afford to get
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me um braces and I have if you're watching on
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YouTube I have a couple of rent teeth that aren't perfect the bottom really need a lot of help but they don't show
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in photos and I just thought you know no big deal and I never really thought anything
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of it I always thought you know people tell me I have a pretty smile I'm good you know I'm happy with it it has messed
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me up all these years I actually wrote and I'm kicking
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myself for it now but I wrote a list of things do in 44 age 44 and one of them
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was get my teeth fixed this is so stupid guys this is so stupid and the worst part of it is it
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was it all came down to someone photoshopped me and for the first time
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in my life I saw a flaw no one else had seen and it wasn't even the flaw that I saw it was somebody else's freaking
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teeth on my mouth it's so strange looking this was very detrimental I they
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pointed out an issue I had never seen and now I've been obsessing about it for all these years and still to this day
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day with all of my wisdom and all of my years of trying to love my body and my
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face and my teeth for what they are I'm still to this day wanting to fix it so thanks a lot
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Women's World magazine thanks so what this did help me realize
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in that moment however and it wasn't just the teeth it was the stretching me out that even the women on the covers of
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the magazines don't look like them so all these years growing up idolizing
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these stunning women and thinking one of these days I'm going to look like that or I want to look like that even those
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women don't look like that you guys and with the photoshopping that has
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been going on for years on magazine covers we are now doing this in our
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day-to-day lives on our Facebook on our Instagram on our Tik Tok we are now
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increasing the problem with the beauty filters I'm all for the puppy dog little
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ears I'm all for the hard emojis I even all for like the way over the top look
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super silly like nobody know nobody would actually think you look like that but do you see like this has been a
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problem for my generation we expect that we should look like the women on the covers of the magazines and the women
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don't even look like that and now
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we are putting it out into the world on an even bigger
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scale and we're showing it to our kids or not maybe not showing it to our kids but maybe they see it or maybe when they
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get social media at some point they see it and then they think wow Mom doesn't even think she's pretty enough she's got
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to change herself and now they think that it's
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just it's worse than the snake eating its own tail it's the snake turning into a freaking
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Dragon it's a real problem well I should have learned my
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lesson I should not have done that second cover with Woman's World magazine couple years ago they reached
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out to me again man I should have set a boundary I should have said no I should
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have asked for approval first I
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I made another mistake and I said yes and I did the shoot here and Boise
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wonderful couple who I I love and adore were a photography
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team and she did my makeup great and I had to do the styling which I was fine
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with and the photos were beautiful and and I loved them I felt powerful in them I had just had a hysterectomy so I had
26:57
gained a little a little bit of weight but I thought I looked beautiful I was really happy with the
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photos and I thought okay this is going to be good and I made sure because I hadn't set that boundary
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and because of what they had done to me the first time I actually sat with the photographer and I said can you not send
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this photo and can you not send this photo and can you not send these photos I picked I didn't pick the ones I wanted
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because I wasn't paying for them so I couldn't really do that but I could say hey can you just like delete these ones
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cuz I'm not crazy about them and he did and the cover came
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out and I don't know what the hell they did I think what they did was they
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didn't like the way one of my eyes was they removed and then put a
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different one on there and my eyes look like they're pointing towards my
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ears it is the most horrific Photoshop I've ever seen it's
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laughable and they they did it to me again and I'm embarrassed I don't even
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want to show the photo to you guys I'm horrified by it and if only I had set
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that boundary of listen you guys can't Photoshop me and if they had said well sorry it's our magazine and I had said
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well sorry I'm not going to be on it then then I wouldn't be having this conversation I would wouldn't be embarrassed in this
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way and this is why photoshopping again it can be fine right
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I wouldn't have had a problem if I had have you know like one hair sticking up that's fine you know or if um one of the
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folds of my dress had looked funny in the lighting again fine but completely
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changing my teeth in Photoshop line and stretching me out Photoshop 2 changing
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my eye structure this this is just again even the women on the covers of the
29:01
photos or on the covers of the magazines don't look like that so now I want to move on now that I've
29:09
told you my two embarrassing stories I want to talk about that aging might be
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hard but it can Empower you and to those of you who are older than me you might
29:21
be laughing this off you know this little 44 year-old girl is is talking
29:26
about this and and maybe I do not have the wisdom and with that said again I
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would I welcome the hate mail I would really prefer to open up a conversation but I want to talk to the women younger
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than me because I remember turning 30 was almost
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traumatic but turning 40 was great and every year since then it's been even
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better and part of it might be that I've had friends who've passed away away in
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their early 30s and early 40s and so with that said
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perhaps I have a different view on it where I'm lucky to have gotten to this
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age but I think it also comes with the fact that I'm I'm proud of myself I'm proud
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of the person I am trying to become I'm proud that I am constantly trying to
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evolve and grow and push myself to have these difficult
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conversations like this one and ask what's the right way because I don't
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necessarily know and I feel like I had this conversation recently with a um my
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my partner's teenage kid and I said I think I may have figured out
30:47
what the meaning of life is the meaning of life is screwing up what you do after
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it's and if you listen to my last podcast I really leaned on this it's
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never the mistakes you make that Define you it's always what you do after how
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you grow from it and I at least at this stage in my life I feel like that's what
31:12
it's all about it's about making mistakes and growing from them and at
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some point I'm going to have to do a podcast about the joy of
31:23
failure if you're not an entrepreneur perhaps this sounds foreign but I have
31:30
gotten to the point where I welcome failure this Podcast May Fail and I'm okay with that because it's what I learn
31:38
from it and what I what I take away from it and what I do next and that's how I've gotten to to be
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where I'm at is constantly welcoming failure and I again I know that might s
31:51
sound foreign to you but for plenty of people I think it might seem
31:58
really accurate and I'd love to hear your thoughts on that personally as of right now I have
32:06
never had any plastic surgery any fillers however I do reserve the right
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to change my mind later because it's my body and it's my choice I am growing my gray out with
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pride but again I reserve the right to change that later on however with all of that said it
32:27
would be for me and I don't think he'll do it because I kind of feel like I'm proud of Aging
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my mother died when she was 51 and she never uh she's she was
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just ideal Italian woman she she looked like she was 20 when she was 50 you know
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she was just so lucky she didn't age and I'm really okay with the lines and the
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wrinkles I'm really okay with the gray hairs because if I'm
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lucky I'll get to do something my mom didn't do I'll get to age and that can really be a gift Jane Vonda recently and
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I know she can be polarizing but I love her 9 to5 is my favorite movie and I loved graceon Frankie so it's okay if
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you don't like her but she recently a few years ago said I'm done with plastic surgery and I'm done with dying my hair
33:19
and given she had done aop plastic surgery so perhaps she doesn't need anymore and I think she's stunning and beautiful and amazing and powerful and
33:27
outspoken in all the ways I feel like whether you agree with her or not
33:32
we need to start being more outspoken we need to start speaking our mind because women have been suppressed for so many
33:38
years and told oh honey no just be quiet and go and you know cook me you know make me a sandwich right so I love Jane
33:45
Fonda but I love that she stopped dying her hair and if you look at any new photos of her she look I love her gray
33:52
hair I love the style of the cut and I think it's great and personally I I do
33:57
reserve the right to change my mind but if I ever do Dy my grays if I ever do
34:03
get BOTOX or fillers if I ever do get a facelift that's going to be for the right reasons and I probably won't tell
34:09
anybody about it or maybe I will but it would be very minor and it would just be
34:14
for me and it wouldn't be because this is what's expected of me again I really don't think I will but I also don't want
34:21
to be called out for it later I want to be valued for my
34:29
mind I want to be valued for my constant need to grow and evolve and uh challenge
34:38
myself and this is what I want to tell the 20-year-olds out there about to turn
34:44
30 or the 30y olds out there dreading 40s you are
34:52
amazing aging is a beautiful wonderful thing it's a gift it's it's a true gift
34:58
and when you start losing friends and you start losing family members you'll get it maybe you don't get it now and
35:04
that's okay and if you don't because you haven't lost anyone then that is great and you're lucky
35:11
but so far 44 is the best um so yeah
35:17
it's not scary it's a gift so since I've kind of been a bit of
35:24
a downer I do want to share a celebrity geek out moment I had uh it I believe it
35:31
was the last time I was on the Rachel Ray Show and the reason why I want to bring it up is because it was a
35:36
plus-size model so I have been there when all kinds of stars have been walking around
35:43
including like wendth palro just like walking down the hallway like it's nothing and I've never had that
35:48
celebrity geek out moment on her show but when Emmy was there and if you
35:54
grew up in the 90s you know who I'm talking about just the most statuesque stunning woman plus-size
36:02
model blonde and you guys remembering now maybe she was on the show and I was
36:09
standing backstage and I was waiting with my my agent and then with you know like my producers assistant or what have
36:16
you that they kind of stay with you for the whole show and escort you around and when Emmy walked back after
36:24
she was done with her segment I was like a little girl it was just so exciting cuz growing up thinking I was Heavy when
36:32
I wasn't and later on I definitely was heavy as you guys have seen from my before
36:37
pictures I looked up to her because here was a woman who was breaking the beauty standards and she is stunning but I I
36:43
think she is oh I think everyone would agree that Marilyn Monroe was beautiful
36:49
but when you read about her or see interviews with people who knew her they say yeah she was beautiful but it was
36:55
this Inner Glow that that she had that made her like shockingly beautiful and that's what I felt like Emmy had like
37:01
yes she would was she technically beautiful yes but she was
37:06
also definitely not the cookie cutter version of a model and she just had this
37:15
confidence I think that's what it was about her was she didn't look like all the skinny girls but the confidence oh
37:22
my gosh and I I asked my producers say can I meet her can I meet her literally I've never been this much of a geek on
37:30
that show and they rushed back they tried to run back and get her so I could
37:35
meet her because I was just like total fan girl in the moment unfortunately she had to get on a plane and they couldn't
37:41
catch her quickly enough and I didn't get to meet her but this just kind of brings it all back
37:49
to me that your value is more on how you carry yourself
37:59
how you believe in yourself how you love yourself than what you look like and I
38:04
think that's what Emmy has I want to remind you in some of
38:10
these takeaways before I I leave you with these thoughts and again I welcome
38:16
the hate mail but I really would rather open up a conversation because I don't feel like I have all the answers truly
38:23
truly but I want to remind you your value is based on who you are not what you look
38:29
like it's time to stop commenting on everyone's body and
38:35
appearance and truly even I have a problem with this I feel like we all need to on a regular basis stop
38:43
ourselves and say you know what that wasn't helpful and there are plenty of
38:48
actors and actresses out there who are talking about this and I think it's such an important message in an area that I
38:54
am failing in and I need to work on and so I'm calling myself out on this and
39:00
I'm asking all of you to help me with this and I'm also reminding you that it's not okay to say wow Jonah Hill
39:06
looks so great he lost weight no Jonah Hill is talented and amazing and you should totally check out the the movie
39:12
he made about his therapist because it's awesome like this is what we should be talking about not about what someone
39:18
looks like because their value is not based on what they look like their value is the fact that he was
39:25
vulnerable and made a movie with this therapist and put it all out on the table and it's great it's really really
39:33
great so I believe it's on Netflix maybe on Hulu check it out I want to remind you that even the
39:39
cover models don't look like that they don't I have firsthand knowledge of
39:45
that and if we don't change this narrative if we
39:51
don't challenge ourselves do the hard work have the hard conversations and
39:57
check ourselves like I am trying to do right now Who the hell's going to do it because every year I feel like women
40:04
we're trying to move forward and we're trying to show the world that our value is more
40:12
and then we have a big stumble like the beauty filters
40:17
or I don't know I feel like if we don't do it it's time who else is going to do
40:23
it with our kids we keep repeating this abusive
40:29
inner attacks on ourselves so I want to challenge you
40:34
to even if you don't have the answer talk to your daughters talk to your sons about it and say hey what's the answer
40:41
how do we how do we work on this and how do you feel about this and how can I be better about
40:47
this I I think that it's time to have the conversation and again I don't have all the answers so I would love your
40:53
comments and I'd love to start that conversation I think we need to focus on health and
41:01
happiness and growth and knowledge and education and not on thin and
41:09
beautiful you can be thin you can be beautiful these are not things that define you or they shouldn't be at
41:17
least what defines you is should be who you are and what you're giving to the
41:22
world and how you make your friends feel and how hard you work at work and if you're a great cook or if you're
41:30
a great author or and I'm not calling myself that I was talking to my friend Lisa earlier who is a great author you
41:36
know if you're a great photographer let's start basing our self worth on something outside of our appearance
41:42
because it is fleeting it is fleeting and if we keep basing all of our self value on what we
41:51
look like we are setting ourselves up for some really hard truths later I want
41:56
to also if you have never had this happen perhaps you
42:02
will you will experience it I have met some absolutely cookie cutter stunning
42:10
people and the more you get to know them either they become so much more
42:16
beautiful because really truly immediate Beauty might be outward
42:23
but longtime Beauty in the eyes of those around you it's all inner I have met
42:29
these some of these people and they are just even more beautiful once they once you get to know them and sometimes
42:35
absolutely just makes your skin crawl you're super grossed out by them because they are not good people
42:43
so it's who you are it's not what you look like I I do know that I have learned I
42:51
will never pose for a magazine ever again without setting some kind of
42:56
boundaries or asking not to be photoshopped or you know insisting upon
43:01
approvals just not going to do it and I don't foresee that in my future but at
43:07
least now I'm at a point I've done a whole lot of therapy that I know that I will be setting that
43:12
boundry and another takeaway I want perhaps the most important one the one
43:18
that we can actually control we can't control the photoshopping of models right we can't control the beauty
43:26
expectations from everyone else around us we can't do that but here's one thing we can
43:31
control we can stop using the beauty filters unless it's for silliness but
43:40
honestly how do they really make you feel maybe they make you feel good in
43:45
that moment and then you look at an original photo of yourself and you think I wish I could change this or that this
43:52
is the one thing in this whole messed up scenario outside of talking to our kids
43:58
about it and setting a good example that we can actually do we can stop using Beauty
44:03
filters I'm all for the fun and the silly filters in fact I would love it if somebody would like troll the comments
44:10
with some hilarious filters please bring it that would be awesome but I think it's time for us
44:20
to be real and that's why I'm out here if you were listening you may want to check out my Gigan chin
44:27
pimple on YouTube it's time for us to show who we
44:32
really are so I want to thank you for taking a little bit of time out of your day to
44:38
listen to the lose weight by eating podcast what you can expect from this podcast is some
44:44
motivational talks some conversation starters like this one a little bit of
44:51
drama here and there if you listen to two podcasts ago when I was talking about my time on a reality show is I
44:58
salty we're going to be doing some interviews coming up I'm working on a master class and two of the gals working
45:04
on it with me I have a there's a personal trainer and a um self-care
45:10
self-love uh author who actually brought the trainer and I together I don't want
45:16
to take credit for the the master class I'm just helping with it but I'm going to be interviewing those gals we're
45:21
going to talk a little bit more about my journey as we did here and thank you I I
45:28
hope you subscribe uh please give some five star reviews please comment and tell you what
45:33
you thought about this podcast help me figure this out if this one felt a little bit disjointed I think
45:39
it was because I was being so vulnerable with all of you if you want to get a little bit more into the motivational
45:46
you should listen to my last podcast where I talk about well I forgot now but
45:53
go ahead and listen to the next one that one was really
45:58
motivational um thank you again for listening happy cooking again it's um
46:03
I'm being a little vulnerable with all you guys here so I hope you enjoyed it and I'll see you next week
46:12
bye
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